shitty situations

Break-Ups:

  • I don’t like you anymore

  • Over you

  • You’re not my type

  • I’m too good for you

  • Game over.

  • Good bye and good riddance

  • You fucked up

  • I wish I could unsuck your penis

  • I wish I could unlick your balls

  • I wish I could uneat your ass

  • I wish I could uneat your pussy

  • Leave me alone

  • Miss me yet?

  • Can't believe I shaved my {genitalia} for you

  • At least you're really pretty

  • Nope. Not today.

Fired / Unemployed:

  • I support you as much as spanx

  • Man, this sucks

  • Your boss was an ass hole

  • You hated your job anyway

  • I'm afraid I have to leave work for good

  • Time to file for unemployment

  • You're unemployed, but awesome

  • I'm quitting to pursue my dreams of not working here

  • You were shit at your job anyway

  • Not shocked you got fired

  • Lets file this under: FUCK IT

  • Working full-time cramped your style

  • Bye coworkers, I know it was a pleasure working with me

  • You didn't get paid enough for that shit

  • Hopefully you get good severance

  • Should have worked harder

  • Honestly, shocked this didn't happen sooner