• Glad you were the strongest sperm

  • Celebrate your birthday the way you came into this world: naked & screaming

  • You were shot out of your dads penis

  • Who knew one tiny sperm could turn into such a douche

  • Happy birthday, sugartits

  • Shoutout to your mom and dad for making you

  • A late birthday gift is better than a late period

  • Smart, good looking, and funny. But enough about me, happy birthday!

  • Happy Birthday, asshole

  • Damn, you're old

  • I'm here to mourn the loss of your youth - happy birthday

  • Didn’t we just celebrate this like a year ago? Happy Birthday

  • Congratulations on another spin around the sun

  • May the best of your past be the worst of your future

  • Tell me again how old you are?

  • You’re still hot after all these years

  • Don’t fret over another birthday. You were already old.

  • Your body is piling up the years, but your mental age is not

  • At least you're not as old as you will be next year

  • I usually forget everyone’s birthdays, so you should feel lucky that I’m sending you this

  • Holy shit, you're how old?

  • Count your blessings, not your wrinkles

  • Another year has gone by but you haven't gotten any wiser

  • Growing old is mandatory but growing up is optional

  • Happy birthday to you & your massive penis

  • Happy birthday to you & your massive tits

  • Can I blow out your candles

  • Glad you were the strongest sperm

  • You should have been swallowed

  • {#} years of being a Twat

  • If you wished for anal, not happening

  • Happy Birthday to my best bitch

  • Thanks for coming out of your moms vagina

  • Too old for Tik-Tok, but too young for Life Alert

  • Grateful your parents had sex

  • Your dad came in your mom

  • Happy developmental milestone


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