• You're one tough cookie
• At least you don't have to wear a cone
• I wish I could take your pain & give it to someone we hate
• Stay home if you’re sick, praise god if you thiccc
• Get well soon, you’ve got shit to do
• That's one way to get attention
• At least it's not herpes
• Life is like a penis, sometimes it’s up, sometimes it’s down, but it won’t be hard forever
• Sorry you feel like shit
• Some people will do anything to get out of work
• Wishing you hugs and effective drugs
• Get well soon so I can stop being so nice
• Germs find you irresistible
• I'm so glad you're sick and not me
• You're so much more than your diagnosis
• Get better so we can hang out again
• Sorry your sick day is due to actual sickness
• Get better - being sick sucks
• Laughter is the best medicine! (Except for treating diarrhea)
• Do you feel as shitty as you look?
• Keep your germs to yourself
• Get well soon, I NEED YOU
• You sure you're not a hypochondriac?
• Your illness is robbing me of attention
• If I told you to “get well soon,” it wouldn't be soon enough
• Shit, that must've hurt
• Laughter is the best medicine.. or vodka - whatever
• Hope it's not an STD
• I hope this cookie makes you feel less crappy
• Get well soon, {name/nickname}
• Strong as a mother
• I'm sorry you feel shitty
• Hang in there
• Well, shit
• At least it's not herpes..
• Could be worse.. you could be ugly
• Can I sign your cast?
• Sorry you feel like shit
• Laughter is the best medicine, but I'd rather have {whatever you'd like}
• At least you're not dead
• Life is tough, but so are you
• Get well so we can make fun of you again & not feel bad
• I know you wanted time off work, but this was extreme
• Stop milkin' it
• Bounce back, bitch
• Feel better, faker
• Enjoy the attention while it lasts