NEW JOB, FUCK YEAH!

  • Don't be your usual self for at east a month.. congrats on the new job!

  • Hopefully your new coworkers don't suck

  • Congrats on your new job! I hope this one doesn't suck as bad as your last one!

  • Congrats on your new job! How much did you lie on your application?

  • May your boss never find out how much harder you're capable of working

  • Congrats on finding a new job during a pandemic

  • Good luck convincing your new colleagues that you know what you're doing

  • I hope you're considerably better at your new job than your old job

  • New job, who dis?

  • Hopefully your new coworkers aren't cunts

  • Congrats on your new job, that you probably won't like any better

  • You're way smarter than you look, you'll do fine!

  • How did you pull that off? I mean congrats on the new job!

  • May your paychecks be supersized

  • Good luck finding better co-workers than us

  • Congrats on your new job.. which a monkey could do

  • I feel sorry for whoever gets hired for your old job

  • Congrats on your new job.. a new place to sit on your ass all day

  • May your hate your new job for different reasons than you hated your old job

  • Good luck, bitch

  • It turns out you are smarter than you look

  • Life is too short to work with {for} ass holes

  • Always be yourself.. except during a job interview

  • Congrats on finding a new job you'll eventually want to quit

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