BABY ON BOARD

• The condom broke

• Clearly not on birth control

• Knocked up

• Congrats on the sex

• Guess it's too late for Plan B

• Great excuse to wear sweats for 9 months

• Didn't practice safe sex

• Even seen a watermelon fit through a donut hole? You will.

• There are no mistakes, just happy little accidents

• Oh, baby

• Congrats! I am grateful it's you and not me

• May your labor be as easy as you were

• Congratulations on growing a human

• Pumped for you, not your vagina

• Awesome people make awesome babies

• Congrats, fertile mertil!

• Big congrats on your tiny human

• You don't know what love is 'til you willingly smell a butt for poop

• Sorry you can't drink, but you can eat this cookie

• You're going to be a M{D}ILF

• If your baby is ugly, do you want me to tell you?

• Get the sleep while you can

• Heard you're pregnant, whore

• Excited to finally be skinnier than you

• Congrats on cumming inside of her

• Guess your man has strong sperm

• Promoted to mom

• Can't wait to meet your spawn

• Offically at an age where we have babies on purpose

• Congrats on transfering your genetic material

• Your vagina will never be the same

• So you're not a virgin?

• Ever see a watermelon fit through a donut hole? You will

• Pregnant, not fat

• You're eating for two, I'm drinking for two

• I'm so glad one of us recently had sex

• Congratulations on your temporarily huge boobs

• Holy shit you're having a baby

• I'm so pregnant

• Bun in the oven

• Congrats for entering a period of life when you will have no periods

• My womb is occupied

• Congrats on the baby! Sorry about your vagina

• Heard your pregnant

• I thought you were a virgin

• Good to know his penis works

• We were worried it was donuts

• Your jeans will fit again in 9 months