• The condom broke

  • Clearly not on birth control

  • Knocked up

  • Congrats on the sex

  • Guess it's too late for Plan B

  • Great excuse to wear sweats for 9 months

  • Didn't practice safe sex

  • Even seen a watermelon fit through a donut hole? You will.

  • There are no mistakes, just happy little accidents

  • Oh, baby

  • Congrats! I am grateful it's you and not me

  • May your labor be as easy as you were

  • Congratulations on growing a human

  • Pumped for you, not your vagina

  • Awesome people make awesome babies

  • Congrats, fertile mertil!

  • Big congrats on your tiny human

  • You don't know what love is 'til you willingly smell a butt for poop

  • Sorry you can't drink, but you can eat this cookie

  • You're going to be a M{D}ILF

  • If your baby is ugly, do you want me to tell you?

  • Get the sleep while you can

  • Heard you're pregnant, whore

  • Excited to finally be skinnier than you

  • Congrats on cumming inside of her

  • Guess your man has strong sperm

  • Promoted to mom

  • Can't wait to meet your spawn

  • Offically at an age where we have babies on purpose

  • Congrats on transfering your genetic material

  • Your vagina will never be the same

  • So you're not a virgin?

  • Ever see a watermelon fit through a donut hole? You will

  • Pregnant, not fat

  • You're eating for two, I'm drinking for two

  • I'm so glad one of us recently had sex

  • Congratulations on your temporarily huge boobs

  • Holy shit you're having a baby

  • I'm so pregnant

  • Bun in the oven

  • Congrats for entering a period of life when you will have no periods

  • My womb is occupied

  • Congrats on the baby! Sorry about your vagina

  • Heard your pregnant

  • I thought you were a virgin

  • Good to know his penis works

  • We were worried it was donuts

  • Your jeans will fit again in 9 months


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