Mother's day

• Thanks for having sex with dad

• Thanks for birthing me

• Mom, remember when you would still do that

• My mom is better than your mom

• Mom of the year

• Kris Jenner has nothing on you! Happy Mother's Day!

• You're the luckiest mom ever. I'd love to have me as a kid!

• The art of lecturing, learned from mom

• You remind me of {your mom's favorite female actress/musician/etc}

• You are the Beyoncé of moms

• Like mother like daughter

• Mom, remember when you {filled in the blank}

• No one can out mom you

• Keep calm, ask mom

• Sorry about your other kids, at least you have me

• Without me, this day wouldn't mean much

• Mom, you're one of my favorite parents

• Sorry I ruined your body with my huge head

• There's no one else I'd rather complain to

• You are right about everything

• Queen of domesticity

• Honored to look just like you

• Mom, where's the meatloaf (subset text: happy mother's day)

• Good job, Mom, I'm awesome

• Sorry I kicked you in the womb

• Mom, you are the shit

• Thanks 4 loving me, even though I ruined your vag

• I turned out amazing, you're welcome

• You're not a regular mom, you're a cool mom

• Happy Mother's Day from your favorite child