Mother's Day

Thanks for having sex with dad
Thanks for birthing me
Mom, remember when you would still do that
My mom is better than your mom
Mom of the year
Mom, thanks for putting up with my shit
Sorry you had to raise my awful brother {sister}
No matter what life throws at you, at least you don't have ugly kids
Happy Mother's Day! Thanks for the free womb & board!
May your to-do list be empty and your wine glass stay full
Of all the evil stepmothers in the world, I'm glad I got you
Instead of grandkids, may I interest you in this cookie?
Happy Mother's Day to my favorite MILF
Mom-ing is hard, and you're nailing it
Thanks for not putting me up for adoption
I hope today is more pleasant than labor was
I wanted to relax today and then remembered I'm a mom
Kris Jenner has nothing on you! Happy Mother's Day!
Thanks for all the unsolicited advice! Happy Mother's Day!
You're the luckiest mom ever. I'd love to have me as a kid!
The art of lecturing, learned from mom
You remind me of {your mom's favorite female actress/musician/etc}
You are the Beyoncé of moms
Like mother like daughter
If at first you don't succeed, do it how your mom told you to
Mom, remember when you {filled in the blank}
No one can out mom you
I hope a masseuse is the only one pushing your buttons today
Keep calm, ask mom
I'm happy I gave you the honor of birthing me
Happy Mother's Day! Sorry I always forget our anniversary! {your birthday}
Ain't no hood like motherhood
I'm the reason you pee a little when you laugh.. Happy Mother's Day!
Thanks for keeping me alive
Thanks for being a great mom through my 20+ year awk stage
Sorry about your other kids, at least you have me
Without me, this day wouldn't mean much
Mom, you're one of my favorite parents
Are you proud that I remembered to get you a Mother's Day gift?
If at first you don't succeed, call mom
I love being your favorite child
It's not easy being a mom.. if it were, dad would do it
Sorry I ruined your body with my huge head
There's no one else I'd rather complain to
You are right about everything
Queen of domesticity
Thanks for everything you've done and still have to do for me
Honored to look just like you
I'm sorry my huge head ruined your vagina
OMG, my mom was right about everything
Mom, where's the meatloaf (subset text: happy mother's day)
Good job, Mom, I'm awesome
Sorry I kicked you in the womb
Mom, you are the shit
Thanks 4 loving me, even though I ruined your vag
I turned out amazing, you're welcome
You're not a regular mom, you're a cool mom
Happy Mother's Day from your favorite child

Mother's day

Thanks for having sex with dad

Thanks for birthing me

Mom, remember when you would still do that

My mom is better than your mom

Mom of the year

Mom, thanks for putting up with my shit

Sorry you had to raise my awful brother {sister}

No matter what life throws at you, at least you don't have ugly kids

Happy Mother's Day! Thanks for the free womb & board!

May your to-do list be empty and your wine glass stay full

Of all the evil stepmothers in the world, I'm glad I got you

Instead of grandkids, may I interest you in this cookie?

Happy Mother's Day to my favorite MILF

Mom-ing is hard, and you're nailing it

Thanks for not putting me up for adoption

I hope today is more pleasant than labor was

I wanted to relax today and then remembered I'm a mom

Kris Jenner has nothing on you! Happy Mother's Day!

Thanks for all the unsolicited advice! Happy Mother's Day!

You're the luckiest mom ever. I'd love to have me as a kid!

The art of lecturing, learned from mom

You remind me of {your mom's favorite female actress/musician/etc}

You are the Beyoncé of moms

Like mother like daughter

If at first you don't succeed, do it how your mom told you to

Mom, remember when you {filled in the blank}

No one can out mom you

I hope a masseuse is the only one pushing your buttons today

Keep calm, ask mom

I'm happy I gave you the honor of birthing me

Happy Mother's Day! Sorry I always forget our anniversary! {your birthday}

Ain't no hood like motherhood

I'm the reason you pee a little when you laugh.. Happy Mother's Day!

Thanks for keeping me alive

Thanks for being a great mom through my 20+ year awk stage

Sorry about your other kids, at least you have me

Without me, this day wouldn't mean much

Mom, you're one of my favorite parents

Are you proud that I remembered to get you a Mother's Day gift?

If at first you don't succeed, call mom

I love being your favorite child

It's not easy being a mom.. if it were, dad would do it

Sorry I ruined your body with my huge head

There's no one else I'd rather complain to

You are right about everything

Queen of domesticity

Thanks for everything you've done and still have to do for me

Honored to look just like you

I'm sorry my huge head ruined your vagina

OMG, my mom was right about everything

Mom, where's the meatloaf (subset text: happy mother's day)

Good job, Mom, I'm awesome

Sorry I kicked you in the womb

Mom, you are the shit

Thanks 4 loving me, even though I ruined your vag

I turned out amazing, you're welcome

You're not a regular mom, you're a cool mom

Happy Mother's Day from your favorite child