father's day

  • Didn't need Maury...you're 100% my daddy

  • Thanks for not wearing a condom

  • Your jokes are lame, but you are not. Happy Father's Day!

  • If at first you don't succeed, call dad!

  • It's not a dad bod, it's a father figure. Happy Father's Day!

  • Dad, without me.. today is just another day.

  • Dad, you've always been like a father to me!

  • Thanks for shacking up with mom - Happy Father's Day!

  • Dad, your pull out game is weak as fuck.

  • You're never too old to need your dad - Happy Father's Day!

  • Dad, no matter what life throws at you, at least you don't have ugly kids!

  • I feel so close to you, because I used to live in your balls. Happy Father's Day!

  • Dad, thanks for teaching me how to be a man.. even though I'm your daughter.

  • What's louder: your sneezing or your chewing? Happy Father's Day!

  • Here's a cookie to add to your dad bod! Happy Father's Day!

  • Just trying to keep your dad bod intact with this cookie. Happy Father's Day!

  • Dad, I love you, but hope I don't inherit your male pattern baldness

  • Thanks for having sex with mom

  • Thanks for cumming in mom

  • Daddy's little squirt.. literally.

  • You're the luckiest dad ever. I'd love to have me as a kid!

  • Thanks for waiting to have a vasectomy until after I was born

  • Thanks for being my seed, Happy Father's Day

  • Glad I wasn't just a blow job

  • They call me dad, because 'bad ass' isn't a job title

  • My dad is better than your dad

  • You're the best Mr. Mom

  • Dad, remember when you {fill in the blank}

  • Papa bear

  • No one can out dad you

  • Keep calm, ask dad

  • The man the myth, the legend: DAD

  • Sorry about your other kids, at least you have me

  • Superdad

  • Ain't no hood like fatherhood

  • Dad, you're one of my favorite parents

  • Without me, this day wouldn't mean much

  • Dad, you are the shit

  • Like father like son

  • Dad of the year

  • Thanks for having strong sperm

  • I turned out amazing, you're welcome

  • Happy Fathers Day from your favorite child

  • World's greatest farter.. I mean father

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